The Big of Smallness

I’ve been thinking for a while about taking up blogging. I love writing, and anyone that knows me knows I like thinking and sharing those thoughts (whether they’re wanted and appropriate or not). I was holding myself back though. I had tried to blog before and not much ever came of it. In fact, today as I was looking at which site to blog with I rediscovered it. It was terrible. I deleted it. It’s gone now so don’t look for it. I’m used to a more formal, scholarly writing style (since after 5 yrs of Bible college I’m now in Seminary) and was afraid I wouldn’t grasp the styles of the blogosphere. Honestly, there were a lot of things holding me back, even though I desired to write and blog. But two things happened pretty much simultaneously. A blogger friend encouraged me to really start, and I came across a marvelous topic for the blog via a Facebook chain post. You know the ones, “I did this thing, and if you read it you should too. And when you do it post a blank underneath like I did so others can do it easily too.” Here it is:

If I had to chose one thing about me that was both a blessing and a curse– a strength and a weakness– it would be: ____?

I think it would be my sense of smallness. I am a tiny speck, sometimes feeling nearly insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the bigness of another person, or just the fact that there are so many people alive today, and even more have passed on. Sometimes the thoughts that come from feeling so small are terrible and wrong, and often lead to wrong action or decision. However, such smallness also bestows a great deal of Wonder upon me. I am constantly amazed by the shear immensity of what God has created, and that He let’s me be involved in it. Just the other day I sat in awe of God, not because of anything specifically spiritual, but because of *wait for it* how much yarn there must be in the world. Yarn. This wonder makes me seem a bit odd to a lot of people, but it let’s me ponder the deep things of life through the tiniest of avenues. This is why I love learning and am basically addicted to school. And why I want to teach college. Because I’m small, and it causes me to want to know more, learn from other people -big or small- what they have found, and share with others what I find. I am constantly overwhelmed, and I’m grateful for it. That is, when I’m not experiencing the downsides of my smallness.

 I hope that I can minister to you through my smallness by accurately (and hopefully moderately consistently) displaying God’s bigness through this blog.

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